


Show me love - A Brittana AU

by Theweirdslingshot



Category: Fucking Åmål | Show Me Love (1998), Glee
Genre: Everyone is kinda mean, F/F, F/M, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, based on a swedish movie, brittany is an ever bigger disaster bisexual, lesbian angst story, santana is a grudgy disaster lesbian, they swear a lot heads up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28947114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theweirdslingshot/pseuds/Theweirdslingshot
Summary: I didn't know if I was gonna call it that, or "Fucking Lima".Brittany has made out with like 700 people, but she has never really dated anyone. She’s always bored - there’s nothing to do in this small town besides going to parties... what happens when she and her friend Quinn decides to go to that lonely girl Santana’s birthday party?Santana is all alone in the world. She doesn’t want a birthday party. She just wants to sit in her room and listen to her grungy music... her only wish is that Brittany one day will notice her.What happens when the two finally meet? Do they perhaps feel less weird and lonely in the universe?
Relationships: Quinn Fabray & Brittany S. Pierce, Quinn Fabray/Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry & Santana Lopez, Sam Evans/Brittany S. Pierce, Sam Evans/Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. Two lonely souls

Santana opened her diary. With a sigh, she started to write down her thoughts.

_I wish I didn’t have to have a party. It’s Abuela who wants it, not me. She thinks all my friends are going to come. When is she gonna learn that I have no friends? I have to friends at all, in the whole world! Okay… I did invite Rachel, but I hope she doesn’t come. I only hang out with her because no one else will hang out with me… or with her. She’s always so nosy. It’s her fault other people even know it’s my birthday. If she hadn’t waved around in the corridor about my party, no one would’ve known. I know she only means well, but she doesn’t realise that she only makes things worse. The worst part was that Brittany heard. Brittany… I wish Brittany would look at me the way I look at her. I wish she fell in love with me like I fell in love with her. Ugh. Like that’s gonna happen._

Brittany and Quinn rushed inside Brittany’s restroom to get ready. They were next door neighbours and were always together. If Brittany wasn’t home, her parents always automatically assumed she was with Quinn, and vice versa with Quinn’s parents. Right now, Brittany was curling Quinn’s hair.

“What’s wrong?” Quinn asked, “You seem unhappy.”

“I’m just a bit… bored, I guess.” Brittany sighed.

“Bored? Why are you bored? We’re going to Artie’s party!”

“Yeah, but it’s just… nothing ever happens at his parties.”

“Well, you can always stay home. Didn’t your mom buy some chips and soda?”

Brittany groaned, “I just feel like this town is so small and nothing fun ever happens.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. Go to a rave or something.”

Quinn chuckled, “You know rave is out, right?”

“What?”

“Yeah. I read that in the _out_ list in the weekly revue.”

Brittany let out a big moan and sunk down to the floor. “Why do we have to live in fucking Lima, Ohio? When everything’s in in the rest of the world, it hasn’t even gotten here yet.”

Suddenly, the phone rang. Quinn picked up.

“Hello? Hi… what? Yeah… yeah, we’re coming. What? Seriously? Uh… yeah. Yes. Nice! See ya!”

“Who was it?” Brittany asked.

“Puck.” Quinn giggled. Puck was Quinn’s on and off boyfriend, right now they were… sorta dating. “I found a new thing you can do so you don’t get bored!”

“What!”

“Fall in love!”

Brittany frowned, “Fall in love? With who?”

“Sam Evans!”

“ _Sam?_ ”

Quinn grinned, “He has a crush on you. Puck told me. I told them we would be at the party.”

“ _Augh!_ ” Brittany groaned, “He’s gonna follow me everywhere. I hate it here!”

“I think Sam’s nice.”

“Quinn. He makes weird impressions and doesn’t know social cues.”

“And _you_ know social cues?”

Brittany sighed, “Literally, I would rather go to Santana’s birthday party.”

Quinn started to laugh.

“I’m serious.” Brittany continued.

“Wait, you really want to go?”

“Yeah. Maybe Santana knows some cool boys from out of town that’s gonna be there!”

“I can assure you she doesn’t know anyone, especially not a boy.”

“Quinn, can’t we atleast pass by? Maybe it’ll be fun!”

Quinn shook her head. “I don’t see how Santana could be fun.”

“Come on! Five minutes! If it’s boring we’ll leave!”

Brittany bounced up and down as she tried to make Quinn agree. Eventually, Quinn sighed. “Alright. _Five_ minutes. I’ll be there for five minutes, no more.”

“Yes!” Brittany chuckled. She was excited to finally do something out of the ordinary.

Little would she know this night would change her entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The swedish movie "Fucking Åmål", that they translated to "Show me love" in english (probably for obvious reasons) is angsty as FUCK and I recommend it to everyone. I recently saw a screenplay version of it so now I was like "you know what - Brittana AU". Here y'all go.  
> It's gonna be extra fun because it's a movie few outside Sweden has seen, so no one can predict what's gonna happen... hehehe. But seriously, watch the movie, it's good.


	2. Everyone is just kinda mean

Santana sat in her room in silence, when someone knocked on the door.

“Sweetie? Can I come in?”

It was her mom. Santana opened for her.

“What did you think about the album I got you?”

“I love it, mom. It’s just the one I wanted.”

Her mother patted her. “We should prepare for the party.”

“I don’t want a party. Abuela wants it, not me.”

“Hey… maybe it’ll be fun. Can’t we atleast give it a chance?”

“No one’s gonna show up. I don’t have any friends.”

“Santana!” her abuela called from downstairs, “Rachel’s here!”

“Make her go home.” Santana growled.

“Sweetie…” her mother said, “Come on.”

Santana only buried her head in her pillow. But after a while she walked down to greet Rachel.

Rachel was wearing a bright blue dress and had curled her hair. She looked like a picture perfect child from the 60s or something. She handed a wrapped gift to Santana.   
“Happy Birthday.”

Santana opened it in silence. She had to give it to Rachel that she was good at wrapping up gifts. Inside the wrapping was a perfume.

“Yeah, maybe a bit boring.” Rachel admitted, “But I thought the perfume smelled super good.”

“Mira!” her abuela exclaimed, “She’s got her own perfume.”

“Lots of people do, actually.” Rachel explained. Everyone went silent for a while, before abuela clapped her hands.

“No! I think we can bring out the cake! What do you say, Santana?”

Santana just looked down on the floor.

“Santana?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this.” Santana mumbled.

“What?” her mother said.

“I don’t want to be your friend.” Santana said, looking at Rachel.

“Santana!” both her abuela and her mother exclaimed.

“You know what the most boring thing I ever did in my life, Rachel? It was when I saw you perform in that singing competition in Westerville.”

“I…” Rachel mumbled.

“We’re fake friends. We only hang out because no one else wants to be with us! You’re boring, Rachel. Real boring.”

Rachel just stood there, trying to hide her emotions. “I… I should probably head home, now…”

“Yeah, you should.”

“Santana!” her abuela hissed, “Why are you being so rude?”

“Suit yourself! I didn’t want a party to begin with!”

“Mija…”

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

“More guests!” abuela exclaimed.

“Tell them the party is cancelled.” Santana muttered.

“Sweetie”, her mother said, “Go to the bathroom and fix yourself up, okay? We’ll fix this.”

Santana sighed and walked off.

* * *

Brittany was oddly excited to go to Santana’s birthday party. She didn’t know why. She didn’t know a lot about Santana, which just made everything a bit more exciting. Quinn however, did not seem to be very impressed.

“Five minutes.” she repeated over and over again.

“Yeah, I know.” Brittany hissed.

“There’s her house. God, it looks empty.”

“Maybe they have the party in the basement.”

“I don’t think they have a basement.”

“You know, I don’t know why everyone seems to dislike Santana. Like, what has she done?”

Quinn shrugged. “She’s just weird.”

Brittany frowned.

“Oh, and I heard a rumour”, Quinn said, “She’s apparently a lesbian.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

Now it was Quinn’s turn to frown, “Excuse me,  _ cool? _ ”

“Yeah. Like, I get it. Boys are so stupid.”

“Well, if you think it’s so cool you can make out with her.”

Brittany gasped, “Wait, what?”

“Yeah. I'll give you 2 dollars if you do.”

Brittany didn’t reply and rang the doorbell. A pretty old woman opened the door.

“Oh! More guests? Hello, i’m Santana’s grandmother, welcome!”

“Hi…” Quinn said awkwardly.

“You can hang off your jackets here. Maybe you want to go upstairs? Santana’s in her room.”

“You want some wine?” asked a younger woman than the old lady. Must be Santana’s mom.

“Uh, wine?” Brittany giggled, “Yeah!”

“Ok, we’ll drink up the wine and then we’ll leave.” Quinn whispered.

“Quinn…” Brittany replied. Quinn rolled her eyes, knowing what Brittany meant. She dug out the 2 dollars from her pocket, ready to hand them over if Brittany did it. But Brittany probably never would.

They walked up to Santana’s room and opened the door. Santana was lying in her bed, writing something in her diary. She didn’t seem to see them at all.

“What are you writing?” Brittany asked.

Suddenly, Santana shut her diary quickly and stood up. “Uh, what? Hi! What are… you doing here?”

“We heard you had a party.” Quinn shrugged, “We wanted to check it out.”

“Oh… uh, well. Party’s kind of cancelled, you see…”

“You have a nice room.” Brittany said.

“Th-thanks…”

“Can I use the bathroom?” Quinn asked. She gave a smirk to Brittany.

“Yeah”, Santana said, “It’s over there.”

As Quinn walked away, Brittany sat down on Santana’s bed. “Hey… can you sit here?”

“Why?” Santana asked.

“I want to say something.”

“Can’t you say it while i’m standing?”

“No. Come on, are you scared of me?”

Santana bit her lip. She then shook her head and sat down next to Brittany.

“It’s just…” Brittany said, “You’re so cute.”   
And with that, she quickly kissed Santana on the mouth.

“Holy shit!” Quinn exclaimed from the door. “You did it!”

She and Brittany ran out from the room, giggling like maniacs. Santana was left, confused as hell. As she started to realise what had happened, she started to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They will be kinder next chapter. That's when Brittany and Santana actually talk for real!


	3. Disaster bi and disaster lesbian hang out

“So you kissed her?” 

Brittany and Quinn sat on the couch at the party they were going to and drank some beer. People were around them to exchange some drunk, strange stories and laugh about life.

“Kissing Santana?” a girl asked, “Did you like it?”

“Yeah.” Brittany said.

“Wait, what?”

Brittany rolled her eyes, “No. Of course not.”

“I thought so.” Quinn chuckled.

“Hey, invite me next time.” Puck said.

“Ew.” Quinn commented.

“What? Two girls, one Puck!”

“If you think that’s so hot, make out with a boy.” Brittany said.

“Why? I’m not a fucking fag.”

Quinn rolled her eyes. Brittany wasn’t sure she was actually into him, or if she just dated him because of popularity. Brittany hadn’t really been with anyone - sure, she had made out with a bunch of people, but never really… taken anything seriously. 

“Hi, Britt.” She looked up, there was Sam Evans. His dorky smile, his puppy dog eyes… 

She ran to the bathroom and barfed. Too much alcohol. 

Sam followed her. He was clearly drunk too. He looked at her with a creepy smirk.   
“You’re so freaking pretty.” he grinned.

Brittany frowned, “I just threw up, what the actual fuck?”

“But still. You’re so pretty. I love you!”

“Sam, you’re drunk.” 

“I love you!”

Brittany grabbed the toilet brush and aimed it at him. “Be gone!”

Sam got startled, but moved away so she could get out. Brittany didn’t even talk to anyone. She just grabbed her jacket and got out of there.

* * *

Santana listened to her music on a very loud volume. She just wanted to disappear from the world. This day had been the worst day of her life. Everything was awful. Her mother brought the birthday cake to her room, but Santana didn’t want to eat.

Then, all of a sudden, someone threw a pebble on her window. She ignored it. But then it happened a second time. She went to investigate.

There, looking pretty desperate, was Brittany. She gave Santana a vague smile.

“Hi!” she said awkwardly, “I… i’m sorry for what happened earlier. When me and Quinn are together we… sometimes get like that. But i’m here to apologise and… can I come in?”

Santana only stared at her.

“Please! I really need to talk.”

Santana was hesitant, but something in her still wanted to trust Brittany. So she let her in. Brittany nervously walked into her room. Santana was about to turn off the music.

“No!” Brittany exclaimed, “Don’t turn off! It’s nice!”

Santana turned off anyways. Brittany looked around. She soon spotted the perfume Rachel had given Santana.

“Oh my god, you have this? I love this smell! Can I have some?”

Santana only nodded in response and tried not to smile as Brittany smelled herself.

“Don’t you have any friends?” Brittany asked. Then, as soon as she did, she panicked. “Oh my god, sorry! I didn’t- was that mean? You see, sometimes I don’t understand if i’m being mean, you get how horrible that is? I just wonder about stuff and so I ask them as I think... Sorry-”

“Easy.” Santana said, slightly chuckling. “You’re not mean… no, I don’t have any friends. It’s probably because i’m weird and quiet and listen to strange music.”

“You’re only saying that because you live in fucking Lima!” Brittany exclaimed. “If you were to live in… New York, for example, i’m sure a lot of people would want to be your friend!”

“You think?”

“Yeah! Everyone would think you’re cool! They would love to listen to you! Not like here where everyone is so… basic.”

Brittany suddenly found the birthday cake. She put it down on the floor and gestured for Santana to sit beside her. Then, she grabbed the candle in Santana’s window and smashed it right down in the cake. Santana couldn’t help to giggle. Brittany then dug out a cigarette lighter from her pocket to light the candle.

“Make a wish!”

“Really?” Santana asked.

“Yeah! Happy birthday!”

Santana blew out the candle and then giggled about it. Brittany started to cut a piece for her to eat. The two of them ate the cake in silence, seeming to enjoy each other’s company. Santana felt she had forgiven Brittany for earlier. Brittany was so much nicer without the influence of other people. This was kind of how she wished her birthday was. Quiet, with someone she liked. 

“We should do something.” Brittany said.

“What?” Santana asked.

“Maybe we can go to the party I ran away from.”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t invited.”

“Who cares? We can go there and burn their house to the ground!”

Santana chuckled at this. Brittany looked like she was filled with ideas.

“Or we can… go to New York!”

“What?”

“Yeah!” Brittany grabbed her hand, “Come on!”

They ran out of the house without anyone noticing. Santana wasn’t sure where Brittany was heading, but she followed her. 

Suddenly, Brittany stopped. “Uh… it just occurred to me that I have no idea how to get to New York.”

Santana bursted out laughing. Brittany tried to not crack a smile aswell. Then, Santana got an idea.

“We can hitchhike. We’ll say we’re… cousins! We were on our grandma’s birthday party and lost the money for the ride home.”

“How are we gonna do that?” Brittany asked.

Santana shrugged. “I talk and you just… blink with you precious eyelashes.”

“Why?”

“Because you have pretty eyelashes.”

Brittany squirmed, “You think I can be a model? I want to be a model… or a psychiatrist.”

“You can definitely be a model.”

“I don’t know if I am pretty enough…”

“Trust me, Britt. You are.” Santana leaned in closer. She felt her heart beating fast. Brittany seemed to be blushing - she was so cute. Santana felt a strong urge to just… kiss her. And she did. It was a much better kiss than before.    
As she pulled away, she looked down on the ground. “Actually, psychiatrist sounds a lot more fun.”

“What?” Brittany asked.

“If I could choose. I would like to be a psychiatrist… but mostly, I'd like to be a writer.”

“You can be both.” Brittany shrugged, “You can write books about human brains and smart stuff like that.”

Santana snickered. “Uh, Britt?”

“Yeah?”

“You can have my perfume.”

Brittany’s eyes lightened up. “Wait, really?”

“Uh-huh. I don’t want it.”

“Are you serious? Thank you!” Brittany jumped into a hug. Santana hugged her back. 

They went back to Santana’s house to get the perfume.

“Well, I should be heading home now…” Brittany said, “It’s late.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for the… everything.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you, too.”

“Can I call you tomorrow?” Brittany asked.

“Yeah.” Santana said and grabbed a marker. She wrote her number down on Brittany’s arm.

“Well… see you!” 

“Bye.” Santana said. Before Brittany went, they shared a quick goodbye kiss.

Santana lied down in her bed, smiling. Suddenly, her mom went into her room.

“Where were you?”

“Just out for a walk.” Santana replied, kind of absent minded.

“Did you have fun?”

“Yeah. I actually did.”

Her mother nodded. She had no idea what was going on, but she was happy her daughter was happy.


	4. Confrontation

Brittany sneaked into her room. She fell asleep right away. She didn’t remember what she dreamt about, but it was a nice dream. In the morning, she looked at the number on her arm. She smiled and went directly to the phone. She felt her heart beating as she waited for Santana to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hi…” Brittany said, “It’s me.”

“Hi.” Santana said. She sounded happy.

“How are you?”

“Good. Just woke up.”

“Did I wake you?”

“Yeah… but it’s okay.”

Brittany took a deep breath, “So I was just wondering if-”

“Who are you talking to?”

Brittany jumped. Quinn had walked into her room. “No one!”

“I see you’re talking to someone.”

“Hell0?” Santana called. In panic, Brittany hung up.

“Why did you hang up?” Quinn asked.

“Because i’m talking to you now.”

“Who was it?”

“No one!”

Quinn smirked, “Was it the guy you were with last night?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were with a guy last night, weren’t you?”

“No, I wasn’t!”

Suddenly, the phone rang again.

“Is it him?” Quinn asked.

“No!”

Quinn picked up. “Hello?”

“Hello? You just hung up!”

Quinn frowned. “Wait, who is this?”

Whoever was on the other side of the line had realised this was not Brittany and instantly hung up.

“Strange…” Quinn said, “Must’ve been someone who called wrong. Anyway, the boy! You were with someone last night! Tina said you had passed her house with someone, and she told Artie who told me.”

“I wasn’t with anyone!” Brittany protested.

“Don’t lie! Tell me or I’ll make up that you went out with Sam!”

Suddenly, Brittany smiled. “Oh, you don’t have to make up anything.”

“I don’t?”

“No, because I  _ was  _ with Sam yesterday.”

Quinn gasped. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was embarrassed, because I said I didn’t like him… but then we… yeah.”

“Oh my god…”

“Yeah.”

* * *

Santana was unsure what was up with Brittany. She knew she called her yesterday, but something happened that made her hang up. She decided to confront her about it the next day at school, but before she could, she spotted Rachel. She sighed, realising she owed her an apology.

“Uh, Rachel?”

“What do you want?” Rachel hissed.

Santana sighed. “I just want to… apologise. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“You didn’t?”

“No… it just all became wrong. I’m sorry.”

Rachel gave her a look, “You know what? I’m happy we’re not friends anymore. I never liked you.” She started to circle her. “I’ve seen your diary. I know you mention Brittany quite a lot. You’re obviously in love with her. What did you think? That Brittany would want you? That you will get married and get a bunch of sugar sweet babies? I don’t think so.”

Santana felt very uncomfortable by hearing this. Though, a part of her guessed she deserved it.

“Never speak to me again.” Rachel hissed. “And Santana? Good luck with Brittany.”

Right as Rachel walked out, Brittany walked in. They looked at each other for a good awkward moment. Then Santana guessed she had to say something.

“What happened?” she asked, “You called me but hung up, and then when I called back someone else answered.”

“I’m sorry…” Brittany replied, “I just-”

“What does she want?” Quinn asked, walking inside the room. Both Brittany and Santana went silent. Quinn just frowned, wondering what was going on. 

All of a sudden, Rachel ran back to them. She decided to yell “SANTANA HAS A CRUSH ON YOU, BRITT. I HAVE READ HER DIARY.” Then, she ran away again.

“What the fuck?” Quinn chuckled nervously.

“What?” Brittany said, giving Santana a strange look.

“I don’t know what you think.” Quinn said, “But Britt’s not a lesbian. Right, Britt?”

“Uh. Right.” Brittany replied with a nervous tone. “Actually, I… have a boyfriend. Sam.”

“They have a date tonight.” Quinn giggled. “Let’s go get ready, Britt.”

And so, they just left Santana there, alone. However, Brittany turned around and gave her a sad look. Santana didn’t know what that look meant and she wasn’t sure she was ever gonna know.


End file.
